Monday, 26 March 2012

Questions , Questions and more questions ...I will try and answer some today ..

Well the first thing is I started out wanting to be a stay at home mum when I was a child, I remember sitting in a career room at school and depsite having been accepted into a good grammar school, taking my exams early and achieving very well I sat there pondering the questionaire -
did I want to work by myself - no I would feel lonely and would lack motivation to get started
did i want to work with others - no I am very sensitive to criticism and a stickler for rules (I was the child who everyone hated because i told on them - I was the child who scared that the teacher was realy going to box our ears for not learning our 6 times tables laid all night crying with a water bottle)
Did I want to work outside - well sometimes but then I hhave always had difficulties with maintaining body temperature and easily got too hot or too cold and would find this restricting
Did I want to work inside - well yes but sometimes i would yearn to be in the fresh air as I am an artist at heart and I love being out in nature
So did I want to work in a garden or natural environement - well no as I don't like dirt and getting my hands dirty as a child would really upset me , if anything my talent was i loved cleaning and sorting and organising, colour matching and painting so what did this leave me?
I told the career lady I wanted to have ten children , breastfeed them all ,live on a farm grow my own produce and live off the land as nature intended making my own products and spending my time at home baking and cleaning and smelling fresh laundry hearing the laughter of children and the pounding of excited feet - she was so shocked she almost fell of her seat! Not what she had in mind for me clearly.
 I began training at the London college of business and then got a lucky break working for a temping service as a black and white marketing rep running around beauty salons, I did a bit here and there as a teenager including working as a departmental manager in a perfumery dept . I was trained as a bueaty consultant and had business skills, but I chose to move to the USA , study child psychology as that seemed to be what was expected at the time. I got married and had 3 children with my Italian first husband , by the time the youngest was born I had not worked for several years and we had returned to the Uk , due to unexpected events I found myself a single mum with 3 small children , I was lucky I met my 2nd husband and went on to have two more children by him , again life threw a curve ball and I found myself single again , In 2004 I chose to use some of my divorce settlement to attempt to fix my body , I had spent 15 years in the voluntary charity sector and published a lot of my work in various magazines and jointly published books .Little did I know that my life  would soon turn upside down robbing me of several years of what I loved most - being an at home mum.
 I had my 6th child and new instantly something was not right, I became very ill. I had a hysterectomy after some odd gynecological  issues and a series of strange chest and abdominal pains which were all put down to my 6th child actually being my 15th pregnancy.
 Then I was sent for tests as it appeared I was suffering from MS/Carpal Tunnell/Sjourns/raynauds/FMS/CF , recurring bells palsy along with repeated immunity problems and constant skin rashes which no one could explain.
 In 2009 I had what appeared to be a lung embolism followed by a mini stroke leaving my semi paralysed and in my chair. At first I accepted it and then I decided I wanted my life back. Got to stop time to cook dinner - I'll be back

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